How Many Wedding Invites Should You Order?
If you’ve been deep in the world of wedding planning, you’ve probably heard that you should count invitations by household, not by individual guest. And sure, that’s what ‘tradition’ says.
But here’s the thing: we’re not here to follow tradition for tradition’s sake. Especially when it overlooks the diverse, vibrant, and meaningful relationships that make up your guest list.
At Lucasano, we believe your invitation count should reflect the care you’re putting into your guest experience and that means rethinking some of the old rules. Let’s break it down—thoughtfully, inclusively, and without the guesswork or guilt. Whether you’re sending invites to chosen family, your parents’ book club, or your local bar’s drag performer (yes, invite them), here’s everything you need to know.
Contents
Start With Your Guest List—Then Think Beyond Households
A common rule of thumb is to send one invitation per household but let’s pause and think about what that really means.
The idea works fine in some situations, but it doesn’t account for the wide range of household compositions we see today. Not every “household” is a family unit. Not every couple lives together. And not every roommate is part of the same circle of connection.
Instead of sticking to a one-size-fits-all count, we recommend approaching this part of your planning with intention. The way you send your invitations is just one more opportunity to reflect the thoughtfulness and care behind your celebration.
Here’s what that might look like:
Couples living together → One invitation is generally fine.
Adult siblings or roommates → Consider individual invites, especially if they each have a close connection to you.
Blended or chosen families → You decide what feels most respectful and affirming.
Your drag mom, your queer fam, your bestie who lives in a poly household → Send what feels right based on your relationship. There’s no single rule.
“This isn’t about overthinking. It’s about honoring the people who’ll be celebrating with you”
When considering invitations for guests in polyamorous relationships, it's essential to approach each situation with sensitivity and respect for the individuals involved. Traditional “etiquette” (aka the rulebook we shredded years ago) suggests sending one invitation per household and listing all invitees by name, but modern relationships often don’t fit neatly into those conventions.
Some practical ways to approach this:
Assess the relationship dynamics – If you’re familiar with your guest’s partners and they’re part of your social circle, it’s thoughtful to include them by name on the invitation.
Open communication – If you’re unsure whom to include, a quick conversation with your guest can provide clarity and ensure no one feels overlooked.
By thoughtfully considering each guest’s situation and keeping the lines of communication open, your invitations can reflect the inclusivity and respect at the heart of your celebration.
This isn’t about overthinking. It’s about honoring the people who’ll be celebrating with you.
When in doubt, ask yourself: would this guest feel seen and valued if they received their own invitation? Sometimes it’s not about the address, it’s about the affirmation.
Add 10–15% More Invitations (Trust Us on This One)
Once you’ve landed on your thoughtfully, inclusive invite count, it’s time to bump that number up. Yep—really. Why? Even with the most careful planning, here’s what we see happen again and again:
Envelope/addressing errors – They happen! A few extras can save the day if something goes awry during the addressing process.
Keepsakes – All of our invitation packages include complimentary extra invitations for you and your photographer, but you might want extras for your planner, parents, or album.
Last-minute additions – People reconnect, relationships shift, and you might decide to invite someone new later on.
Lost or damaged mail – Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for USPS to misplace or delay items (especially with thick or non-standard envelope sizes). Having a few extras on hand means you won’t have to scramble for reprints (which will cost you more).
💌 Our recommendation: Order at least 10–15% more invitations than your final guest count. These additional copies serve as a built-in backup plan, ensuring you're prepared for any unforeseen needs or errors during the invitation process.
We get it, printing more invitations might feel like an extra expense. But just like adding chairs for comfort or offering a plant-based entrée, it’s often worth it when it makes people feel welcome and seen. For some guests, especially queer folks or people with complex family dynamics, getting their own invitation can be quietly powerful. It says: you’re not an afterthought. You’re personally invited. So those extra copies aren’t just for accidents or USPS mishaps. They can be part of how you affirm your community.
TL;DR: A More Inclusive Formula
There’s no one-size-fits-all rule but here’s a flexible, thoughtful guide to get you started:
A guest list assessed with care—not just counted by household
10–15% extras for addressing mistakes, lost mail, last-minute adds, and keepsakes
= Your final invitation quantity
Still unsure? That’s exactly what we’re here for. We’ll walk you through your guest list, help you navigate household dynamics, chosen family, poly groups, and more so your invites reflect the full beauty of your guest experience.
Addressing Guests for Inclusive Weddings
Once you’ve figured out how many invitations you need, the next question is: how do you address them? From chosen family to nonbinary guests to polyamorous partners, we’ve got you covered with this full guide on inclusive addressing suggestions. Because every name on that envelope matters and so does how you honor it.
