LGBTQ+ Wedding Planning: Progress Made & Challenges That Remain
How can the wedding industry truly welcome LGBTQ+ couples?
Let’s be honest—planning a wedding can be overwhelming. For LGBTQ+ couples, it comes with added challenges. The biggest obstacle couples face with planning an LGBTQ+ wedding is finding professionals who avoid making assumptions about their celebration. While progress has been made in recent years, parts of the wedding and event planning industry still struggle to make queer people feel genuinely welcome. This often leads to feeling invisible during one of the most celebratory moments of their lives.
I experienced this firsthand when I planned my gay wedding in 2015—and let me tell you, it was a journey.
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My Experience Planning an LGBTQ+ Wedding
I began the planning process like many others—researching as many queer-friendly vendors as I could. It was impossible to talk to every single one, so I had to narrow it down. But with so many options, it was hard to know who would truly accept me—not just based on budget or availability, but in their values.
At first, their 'All are welcome here' messaging felt promising, but as I dug deeper, it became clear those promises often came with an asterisk. The disconnect first became apparent with contact forms. Some intake questionnaires often defaulted to 'bride name' and 'groom name,’ as if those were the only options. The use of these gendered terms made their welcoming efforts feel incomplete—more like checking a box than truly rethinking their entire process.
“As I dug deeper, it became clear that many ‘All are welcome’ promises often came with an asterisk.”
I became discouraged. I found myself wondering if I would have to navigate spaces that weren’t built for people like me. It made me realize I would have to be intentional about the conversations I had with vendors moving forward.
I ultimately found amazing vendors, but the journey became a somewhat tiring effort to assert my identity at every step. Years later, as I began thinking about starting my business, I learned the wedding industry still faces significant challenges—even as the legalization of same-sex marriage in the U.S. approaches its ten-year anniversary.
June 26, 2015: Marriage equality legalized nationwide for same-sex couples
Ten Years Later: Progress and Persistent Gaps In LGBTQ+ Wedding Planning
Over the past decade, the wedding industry has made notable strides. Increased visibility in LGBTQ+ and same-sex weddings and more representation have made progress undeniable. Social media, for instance, has become an essential tool for queer couples, helping them connect with vendors who genuinely value diversity. LGBTQ+ representation in wedding magazines and advertisements has improved, offering assurance that stories like ours are worthy of celebration.
Take Love Inc. Magazine, for example. Their work consistently uplifts all kinds of relationships and offers resources specifically designed for queer couples. Publications like this are a powerful reminder of how much visibility matters.
Yet, outdated practices still persist, creating barriers and reminding us how much further there is to go.
Common Assumptions That Exclude LGBTQ+ Couples
“Seeing ‘Bridal’ everywhere is like being called the wrong name at a party all night—awkward, exhausting, but you push through.”
Some businesses continue to rely on heteronormative assumptions:
Intake forms, questionnaires, and communications still default to gendered terms like “bride” and “groom.”
Social media ads and call-to-actions are still primarily targeting cisgender women: “2025 Brides, it’s time to order your invitations!” or “Let’s do this, 2026 Brides!”
“Bridal” stores are still called, well, “bridal.” This label doesn’t always fit with non-binary individuals who don’t see themselves as a “bride”.
The term “bridal show” also inadvertently excludes non-female or non-binary individuals.
Some hotels still refer to honeymoon rooms as “bridal suites.”
Seeing ‘Bridal’ everywhere is like being called the wrong name at a party all night—awkward, exhausting, but you push through. But pushing through shouldn’t be the norm—we can do better. These oversights, though often unintentional, detract from a sense of belonging.
Still, we’ve seen some progress. Vendors like Shannon Collins Photography, a queer wedding photographer, actively avoid gendered terms like 'bride' and 'groom' in their intake forms and communications. They also post thoughtful blog content that educates the community on diversity and highlights marginalized communities, further fostering a more inclusive wedding industry.
Changing wedding terms can make a world of difference in helping LGBTQ+ couples feel welcome
Lack of Training
Some wedding professionals aren’t trained to create affirming spaces for LGBTQ+ couples, which can lead to:
Misgendering or inappropriate questions about a couple’s relationship—or their guests’ dynamics when addressing invitations.
Awkward or even hurtful interactions, even when unintentional.
Overlooking inclusive language in design elements like invitation reply cards, seating charts, and programs.
With proper training, vendors can avoid these mistakes. Equally Wed Pro offers certifications for wedding professionals who want to create affirming spaces for queer and same-sex couples. Certified vendors demonstrate their commitment openly, providing couples with confidence from the start. Kirsten Palladino, cofounder of Equally Wed, defines inclusivity as feeling “welcomed, affirmed, celebrated, and intentionally included”—exactly what the wedding industry must strive for. Programs like these are invaluable tools for any professional.
Adding pronouns to reply cards is a thoughtful way to ensure every guest feels acknowledged and respected.
Limited Representation in Marketing
Wedding ads and venue materials still overwhelmingly feature heterosexual, cisgender couples. This lack of representation sends an unspoken message about who these spaces are designed for, making it harder for LGBTQ+ couples to picture themselves in certain venues or with specific vendors.
Thoughtful marketing isn’t just about visibility—it’s about making people feel they belong and are worthy of booking with a vendor. While mainstream publications have made strides in featuring queer weddings, dedicated platforms like Dancing With Them consistently showcase diverse love stories. These platforms provide essential visibility and inspiration for queer couples, reminding them their celebrations are equally deserving of recognition.
After all, who wouldn’t want to see a couple who looks like them celebrating their big day on a billboard? That’s the kind of inspiration we all deserve.
Scott Griessel/Creatista
The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media
Social media has opened new doors for LGBTQ+ and gay weddings, fostering inclusivity, but it has also amplified traditional gender norms, making it a double-edged sword:
The sheer volume of businesses on social media makes it exhausting to vet their values.
Hashtag strategies haven’t evolved—#bridalparty, #bridalsuite, or #bridalflowers don’t just reflect the industry’s traditional focus—they actively shape it. These terms frame weddings through a binary lens, perpetuating the assumption that all celebrations fit a heteronormative mold.
Some wedding influencers often market themselves as “bridal” influencers while sharing queer content to appeal to LGBTQ+ audiences. While their visibility is encouraging, it can feel performative if it isn’t paired with meaningful advocacy for inclusivity.
But there is progress. Some vendors and creatives are embracing hashtags like #LoveIsLove instead and moving away from gendered hashtags. These shifts, while small, represent significant steps toward creating a digital space for all couples.
A Path Forward: Elevate LGBTQ-Owned Businesses
Supporting LGBTQ-owned businesses is one of the most powerful ways to drive change in the wedding industry. These vendors bring lived experience and a deep understanding of what it feels like to be unseen. With that perspective, they create services and processes that authentically celebrate all couples.
LGBTQ+ owned businesses prioritize:
Inclusive environments: Ensuring every couple feels valued and respected at every stage.
Thoughtful processes: Avoiding assumptions and actively embracing diversity.
Authentic representation: Featuring a wide range of love stories in their marketing and communication.
Choosing queer-owned businesses isn’t about excluding non-queer vendors—our allies are essential in fostering inclusivity. By intentionally supporting queer-owned businesses, couples and vendors can help lead a cultural shift, challenging traditions and actively implementing equitable practices.
For LGBTQ+ Couples:
Your decisions send a important message to the industry: all love stories deserve to be celebrated with care and respect. By choosing vendors who align with your values and prioritizing those who make you feel genuinely accepted, you’re not just shaping your celebration—you’re paving the way for a future where every couple feels embraced.
Look for vendors who proudly feature diverse love stories in their portfolios, use thoughtful titles on their intake forms, and go beyond surface-level statements of allyship. Ask questions about their practices, and prioritize those who make you feel comfortable. These choices ensure your wedding reflects your identity while helping to transform the industry into a more affirming space for all couples.
For Vendors:
Whether queer-owned or allied, you have the opportunity to set a new standard by rethinking outdated practices and embracing change at every level. Simple changes, like using inclusive terms such as “partner(s)” or “couple name(s)” in your forms, can make a big difference. Pursuing certifications can also help build affirming spaces for LGBTQ+ couples while signaling your commitment to inclusivity.
Inclusivity isn’t just a checkbox; it’s a mindset. By showcasing diverse love stories in your portfolio, updating your processes to welcome every identity, and openly demonstrating your values, you help foster a wedding industry where all couples feel celebrated—not just accommodated.
By working together—couples, LGBTQ+ vendors, and allies—we can move beyond a narrow template and build a wedding industry that truly celebrates every identity and story, ensuring no one feels unseen.
This blog post is not affiliated with any companies mentioned.
All opinions are drawn from personal experience or research.
